From frustration to discovery - reflecting on myself while supporting the family / もやもやから発見へ - 家族を支えながら自分をみつめ直す

My daughter has been coughing and my partner has business trips for the next three days in a row. I can't complain because I wish her recovery and my partner is probably doing more than the average father by doing things he can such as accompanying her to her kids' doctor etc.

I had to cancel two appointments to meet with friends and slowed down my driving school. I know in my head that my partner's business trips come first since they are "work", but I, a freelancer who has more freedom in time and place, had to change schedules. He received a kids' sick leave certificate but there's no need for it. Don't you go for work? Excuse me to that I was venomous ...

Lately I've been wanting to do something new every day, but I've been feeling kind of discouraged because I was not sure I could do it today. But then I thought about it and found a few things. They are both food related 😅

• For the first time, I made filling for mooncake without sugar and it was good.
• I made Inari Sushi for the first time in Germany ... my daughter didn't like them though.
  

It's not a new challenge, but I walked around before my partner left in the morning and it's over 9000 steps. I even finished writing and handed in an article (thanks Chat GPT). I also enjoy eating Japanese food, Udon noodles and Sushi including the Inari Sushi, slowly with my daughter who has similar food preference.

Looking my achievements back, I felt a little calmer because I've been able to do some things that I didn't expect.

Although my daughter appears to be fine, she will be resting at home this week due to low oxygen levels. She wants to try roasting marshmallows, so tomorrow we will do a candlelight campout on the balcony. This is also the first time in our lives.

Let's look up, take a deep breath, and stay positive. May the small one get well soon.

Have a nice week everyone!

~~~

子供が風邪で、相方は3日連続で出張とのことで、子供と在宅しています。子供は大事だし、相方は小児科への付き添いなど出来る限りのことはしてくれて多分普通のお父さんよりは頑張っているであろうから文句は言えないのですが・・・。

私は友人と会う約束を2つキャンセル、教習所通いもスローダウン。どちらも仕事ではないので、相方の仕事が優先されるのは頭ではわかっても、時間と場所の自由のきくフリーランスの私にしわよせが寄せがきてなんとなくもやっとします。子供の傷病休暇の証明書もらっていましたが「仕事行くんだしいらないだろ」と毒を吐きたくなります。

最近毎日何か一つは新しいことをしたいなと思っていて、でもさすがに今日は無理かなと思ってなんだかがっかりしていました。でも、考えてみるといくつかありました。どっちも食べ物です😅

• 初めて砂糖を入れないで月餅の餡を作ってみたらいい感じだった
• ドイツで初めておいなりさんを作った（子供には不評でしたが。。もう自己満足でいい！すべては自己満足！）
  
   
  新しい挑戦ではありませんが、朝相方が出かける前に歩きまくって9000歩超なのも、よくがんばりました。仕事も納品したし（ありがとうChat GPT）。食の好みの合う子供とゆっくり和食を食べるのも楽しいです。振り返ってみると意外と何かしらできているもので、少し落ち着きました。

子供は元気に見えるものの、血中の酸素濃度が低いとのことで自宅安静。マシュマロを焼いてみたいというので、明日バルコニーでろうそくでキャンプもどきをします。これも人生初めて。

上を向いて背筋を伸ばしていきましょう。子供が早く元気になりますように。